


Is That a Challenge?

by rexlover180



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Drabble Collection, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M, one shots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-02 15:50:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6572266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rexlover180/pseuds/rexlover180
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of drabbles inspired by AUs I've seen on Tumblr, all RusAme</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Take The Freaking Flyer Please

1\. Take The Freaking Flyer Please

Alfred took a deep breath, trying to center himself. He could do this, this was easy. He signed up for this himself, too. So he would have to live with the consequences. But that probably didn’t involve punching idiots in the face.

He opened his eyes, looking again at some asshole that thought it was a good idea to let out all of his pent-up anger on Alfred’s partner in this apparently stupid endeavor. The major problem was the fact that Lili was just a small girl, normally very shy and not very violent, and she was the one being yelled at. She could handle herself, sure, but she really wasn’t the kind of person to yell back and this guy wasn’t about to back down until someone else shouted at him.

“Hey!” Alfred harshly turned the guy around, centering all of the guy’s attention on him. It only took the guy a few seconds to look at Alfred’s green shirt before he started shouting at Alfred, too. Alfred raised a brow, letting out a sigh. He wasn’t even listening to the guy, he wasn’t spouting anything Alfred hadn’t heard already, but by more polite people.

 _It’s not realistic to try to convert the campus to recycling all at once. Global warming isn’t real. Humans have a right to this Earth and to do whatever they want with it._ The list could go on forever.

Alfred decided to just mess with the guy and offer him a flyer and the guy seemed just about done, storming off after taking the flyer and ripping it in two, dropping it onto the ground.

“Thanks,” Lili offered.

“No problem,” Alfred said, kneeling down to pick up the flyer and move it to the nearby recycling bin. “You can take a break if you need to.”

“And leave you alone?” Lili asked. “I don’t think you could handle this without me.”

“Haha,” Alfred said, rolling his eyes with a smile.

He turned his attention back to the students milling around. Class had just gotten out and it was noon, meaning they had more than enough people to get the word out to. Alfred had been a part of this club for three years, since coming to this college, and he’d only grown more passionate about saving the Earth the longer he’d been in it. He offered his flyers with a smile, trying to direct people to their nearby table, where they could sign up for emails and volunteering opportunities.

Most of them just looked down and passed by. A few were too polite to say no, which Alfred was grateful for. He nearly got ran over by a few bikes as well, but he was used to that.

Alfred decided to go further into the crowd in hopes of reaching some more people

Before long, Alfred could clearly see a pretty damn tall, intimidating person making his way through the crowd. Not like that scared him, psh. Besides, what kind of person wears a scarf this close to summer?

Alfred marched right towards the guy with his award-winning smile, offering him a flyer proudly with a quick, “Do you think you have time today to learn about recycling on campus?”

The guy paused, actually paused, staring at the flyer for about a second. He glanced up at Alfred and offered a childish smile. Nothing else, no words. And then the guy turned and walked away. Alfred stood still for about two seconds before he followed right after the guy. That had to be some kind of challenge, right?

“Hey, wait, come back here!” Alfred shouted over the crowd, squirming around the students that had already gotten between them. The guy even looked back at him before smiling _again_ and continuing to walk. Alfred huffed, forcing his way through the crowd even more violently. The man seemed to take notice, walking faster away from him.

“You little shit,” Alfred cursed under his breath. If the guy was gonna power walk Alfred was gonna fucking sprint. “You’re going to learn about recycling whether you like it or not!”

Maybe this was why everyone had been so hesitant of letting Alfred do this job…

Whatever, Alfred ran forward, racing in front of the guy before stopping cold right in front of him. The man blinked in surprise, stopping where he stood. He pulled out his headphones from both of his ears. How did Alfred not see those before?

“Where do you think you’re going?” Alfred huffed.

“Class,” the man said simply, like it was some kind of stupid question to ask. “I’m about to be late, can I get going?” He had a thick Russian accent, but Alfred didn’t let that scare him. (Okay, maybe it intimidated him just a little bit.)

“Not until you take this flyer,” Alfred said, holding out the stupid piece of paper. He didn’t even care at this point if the dude just threw it away, as long as Alfred made his point that he was not the kind of person to be ignored.

“Ah, I see,” the man giggled slightly, taking the paper. “I was too hurried to tell you, but I do not have the time. I would like to hear about it, but I cannot today.”

“You…what?” Alfred asked, dumbfounded.

“Is there someone I can call about it later?” the man asked curiously. He was honestly interested…So he really wasn’t a jackass afterall…

“Uh…yeah…” Alfred cleared his throat, pulling out his phone. “Just, uh, gimme your number and I can text you all the info if you’re in a hurry.”

The man nodded, taking Alfred’s phone into his hand and thoughtfully punching in the keys with his, admittedly, huge fingers. Alfred also noticed that the guy bit his lip when he was concentrating. Kinda…cute…

“Thank you,” the man nodded before continuing on his way. He didn’t replace his headphones, but he did look over the paper thoughtfully, passing a trashcan and recycling bin on his way. He was actually reading it…and he wasn’t throwing it away…

Alfred looked down at the new contact in his phone.

Ivan, huh?

Well, Alfred would just have to make sure they had plenty of excuses to talk.


	2. I Need You To Make Out With Me

2\. I Need You To Make Out With Me

Ivan normally didn’t like parties. Especially not American college parties. Not only was the alcohol cheap and terrible, but it seemed like his fellow students were far too easily entertained. Ivan sighed heavily as he leaned against a wall, holding some cheap beer as he watched the crowd dance to some terrible pop song he couldn’t hear through the bass. He took a long sip, trying to see if there was anyone worth talking to, but he couldn’t really find anyone.

Before long, Ivan saw someone come out of the crowd, almost in a frenzied hurry, looking around fast until finally, his bright blue eyes landed on Ivan, who jumped at the sudden attention.

“I need you to make out with me,” the student blurted out as he came towards Ivan.

Ivan blinked, unsure if he heard the man correctly. He hadn’t even met this person before, but he did seem fairly sober…

“Um…”

“Long story,” the man panted. “I just saw my ex, she’s coming this way with her new boyfriend. I need you to make out with me.”

“I still don’t follow you,” Ivan said.

“Please just don’t punch me,” the man begged before advancing. He pinned Ivan to the wall pretty effectively, standing up on his toes just enough to be as tall as Ivan and pressed their lips together. Ivan dropped his drink in surprise, pushing himself even more into the wall in an attempt to hopefully get away from this crazy man that was slowly starting to move his lips. He really wanted this to look good, didn’t he?

Thankfully, Ivan had enough alcohol in him to be a little forgiving. Just not enough to let this stranger take control of their first kiss. Ivan made quick work to bite onto the man’s lower lip, making the stranger gasp. Ivan smirked, kissing him back almost fervently. The boy tasted like cigarettes and vodka (where had he gotten that?) and Ivan was more than happy to get more of a taste, exploring with his tongue. The man seemed to respond instantly, pushing deeper and his torso almost melting into Ivan’s touch.

It was messy, uncontrolled, and honestly hard to follow as Ivan’s mind hazed over, carefully moving his knee between the man’s legs and rubbing up, into his crotch. The man moaned loudly into the kiss, not like much could be heard over the music anyway, and Ivan’s thoughts finally travelled back to the matter at hand.

He pulled away slowly, both of them panting in the other’s face as they stared into each other’s eyes.

“I believe she’s gone by now.”

“Huh?” the man asked dumbly, blinking and slowly taking stock of their surroundings. “Oh, shit, yeah…I, uh…Sorry? Is that the right word for what just happened?”

“Are you free tonight?” Ivan asked. Considering how much more interesting his night had become since this boy came out of nowhere, he was curious to see how far he could get this to go.

“What gave me away?” the boy asked with a lopsided smile. “Me running away from my ex and her boyfriend?”

“Nyet,” Ivan mused. “The fact that you kissed me like you’re just as needy for sex as I am.”

“Oh,” the boy blinked owlishly at him. “Yeah, yeah, I’m free tonight.”

“Great,” Ivan said, tugging the man back towards him forcefully. Their lips crashed together once again, the student’s hands flailing until they found good anchor in the wall behind Ivan.

“Alfred, by the way,” the man gasped out between kisses. “Since you probably need something to scream tonight.”

Ivan chuckled, his hand straying to roughly cup Alfred’s crotch. Alfred groaned heavily, rubbing into him needily.

“I believe you may be the one screaming tonight.” Ivan smirked. Alfred seemed like the only other dick he’d seen before was his own, so he might just be in for a surprise tonight. “You have my permission to use the name Ivan.”

“Cocky jackass,” Alfred muttered, kissing him hard and rough on the lips, as if to assert his own dominance.

“Sore loser,” Ivan said in a throaty moan into Alfred’s mouth.


	3. Don't Judge Me!

3\. Don’t Judge Me!

Alfred stared at the bowl near the exit, contemplating what his next move should be. He normally didn’t come to the health center, but this time he had to do some stuff about his broken ankle, which was currently stuffed into one of those stupid boots. But his current dilemma was much more pressing. There, just by the exit, was a little table with resources…and a whole bowl of condoms. They were just so…tantalizing. He didn’t have a need for them, especially not with this damn boot, but…

Well, he could just take a few.

He yelped in surprise when his phone alarm went off and, when he went to check what it was, nearly went into full panic mode. He was supposed to meet with his project partner in the library in five minutes! Without thinking, Alfred grabbed a huge handful of the condoms, shoving them into his bag, before hurriedly hobbling out of the building and down the ramp.

He wound up being late by just a few minutes, panting as he worked his way into the library, trying to find his project partner. He was pretty easy to spot, after all, not a lot of people had nearly white hair and wore a _fucking scarf in seventy degree heat_. But who was Alfred to judge.

“You are late,” Ivan said as Alfred approached the table he’d claimed. Alfred huffed.

“Yeah, sorry,” he muttered sarcastically, “it kinda takes a while to get around campus with a fucking broken ankle.”

“Then maybe you should have thought of that before you broke it,” Ivan offered with a smile and Alfred glared at him from where he stood. This was totally not his fault at all! What the hell kind of jerk was Ivan to insinuate that Alfred just _decided_ to break his leg?

“Whatever,” Alfred said, zipping open his backpack and looking for the right folder. “Let’s just get this stupid thing over with. You wanna do a PowerPoint or what?” Alfred jerked his folder out of his backpack as it rested on the table and his back fell over to the side. And out of it tumbled the condoms that Alfred had grabbed earlier.

Alfred froze, standing with his folder as he looked at the table in pure horror. Holy shit, he’d grabbed a lot of condoms. He dared a glance at Ivan, who briefly gave him a strange look before examining the condoms closer.

“How disappointing,” Ivan noted and Alfred blinked, shaken out of his shock.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Alfred blurted out. All of his comments on ‘it’s not what it looks like’ or even ‘heh, I’m a lucky guy, right?’ were cut short at Ivan’s stupid comment.

“Nothing,” Ivan mused as Alfred started shoving all of the condoms back into his backpack before anyone else in the library could start staring at him. “Just that I was expecting a little…more.”

“What, do you expect a fucking Trojan?” Alfred snapped. “That kinda size is like…inhuman and gross. No one even likes people that big.”

“Really?” Ivan asked innocently, tipping his head to the side. Alfred froze once again. That kinda reaction could only mean one of two things.

One. Ivan could take it like a fucking champ.

Two. That stereotype of Russians being fucking massive was true.

Alfred gulped, awkwardly taking his seat with a furious blush on his face. Why did thinking of both of those cause his gut to _twist_ like that? Oh, God, was it hot in here or was it just him? Ivan still looked right at him and Alfred ducked his attention into his folder, trying to pull out the right papers, but his hands were shaking. Dammit! Ivan was so not affecting him like this. No fucking way. This was just a dude from his fucking chem class!

“Are you alright, Fedya?” Ivan asked innocently and Alfred temporarily ignored the way that nickname caused such a shiver to go down his spine.

Alfred took a deep breath. “Let’s just…get this stupid thing done, alright?”

“Why the sudden change of subject?” Ivan asked innocently. But that damn smirk on his face was far from innocent. That bastard!

“The size of condoms I need is none of your business,” Alfred said, his face positively on fire. “We good now?”

“Ah, so you really are not curious?” Ivan asked with another one of those annoying, knowing smirks.

“Like hell,” Alfred sneered. He shrugged with a smirk. “Don’t get me wrong, though, I’d really love to know someone that knows firsthand what it’s like to take something that big up their ass, but I think we should focus on the presentation instead.”

Ivan blinked at him, as if registering what Alfred had just said. Alfred smiled victoriously at the blush that was starting on Ivan’s face. Finally! He got a reaction out of the guy!

“I agree,” Ivan mused finally. “After this project I would really love to get to know someone with that ability. How about we meet up tonight at eleven?”

Was that a challenge? Alfred narrowed his eyes at Ivan, trying to assess where this situation had taken them. Who knew taking some condoms from the health center could escalate a conversation this quickly?

“I look forward to seeing how you can take it,” Alfred said decidedly, pulling out the notes he’d typed up last night. He looked up at Ivan and smirked. Challenge accepted.


	4. Cheater!

Alfred had this, he could do this. He was gonna totally kick ass! He peeked around the dark corner, looking around quickly to see if he could spot anyone. Almost everyone was out of the game; Alfred was one of the last two standing on his team, while the other side had three people. He looked up, seeing if anyone was possibly on the upper level, but he didn’t see anyone.

He took a deep breath, turning the corner and keeping a close eye behind him. He could do this. And he certainly wouldn’t lose to Ivan’s team. It was Alfred’s idea to do laser tag as a date, Ivan was the one that agreed to pay. And it was both of their ideas to go onto different teams. This was a way better bonding experience than being on the same team. Alfred could learn a lot about Ivan’s weaknesses this way.

He advanced slowly and carefully, gun at the ready. He had an escape plan everywhere he went, just in case. Where the hell were they?

Before long, Alfred turned a corner and stood in surprise when his eyes met purple. They were close together, close enough for just one push of the trigger to be the end of the game. Alfred steeled himself, ready to fire, but he hesitated when he saw Ivan’s smile. The taller of the two advanced and Alfred quickly found himself pushed into a corner and Ivan released one hand from the gun and gripped onto Alfred’s chin, tilting it up just slightly.

When their lips met, Alfred practically dropped the gun. Ivan was a damn good kisser, okay? Don’t judge him. He melted fast and kissed back equally as strong. Alfred nearly moaned into the kiss as it started getting deeper. He practically forgot where he was.

Ivan pulled back suddenly, however, and their eyes met.

Alfred’s ears were filled with the sound of a buzzer…He looked down, the vest over his chest glowing red. Ivan smiled once again, lowering his gun from Alfred’s chest, before he turned on his heel and walked away.

“You fucking cheater!” Alfred snapped, about damn ready to chase after the guy, but another member of Ivan’s team followed right after him, snickering to himself. Alfred felt a blush rise on his face and he walked back to the exit in shame. Next game…oh, next game for sure. Alfred was gonna kick his boyfriend’s ass.


	5. Come Back Tomorrow?

Ivan was not a deep sleeper. It normally wasn’t a problem, in fact sometimes it came as a blessing. Tonight, it seems like it was the best blessing he could have been given. It was a warm night outside, so Ivan had decided to keep his window open, let in a breeze and save on air conditioning. Ivan heard the clear sound of scraping against a wall, followed by a nearly silent curse.

Ivan sat up slowly, eyeing his window carefully in the low light of the moon. Were those…fingertips? He heard some more scraping and a few, slightly louder curses. Ivan slowly and quietly got up from his bed, slowly advancing towards the window.

“Dammit, c’mon this isn’t that hard,” a voice muttered to itself. “You’ve done it plenty of times before.”

Ivan finally reached the window, looking at the slim, shaking fingers with a raised brow. Finally, he decided to peek his head out the window, looking down. A man was hanging from his windowsill, which was on the second story of his house, but he hadn’t looked up yet. Instead, the man, dressed in all black, focused on his feet, trying to get good footing. In the darkness, Ivan could tell that the man had fairly light colored hair and was, admittedly, fairly well built.

“Do you…need something?” Ivan decided to ask and the man looked up at him with wide blue eyes. Ivan was almost surprised he wasn’t wearing a mask.

“Uh…” The man stared at him for a while, trying to assess the situation. “Do you think you could help me up?”

“Did you fall from somewhere?” Ivan asked amusedly. Obviously, this man was a thief, but Ivan was curious what this man would say to try and get himself out of this one.

“Yeah, I’m a freaking fallen angel,” the man said bluntly. He tried to get a good grip with his feet, failing once again. Ivan rested his head in his hands, propping his shoulders on the windowsill as he looked down at the man. “Could you help me up now?”

“You’ve gotten this far,” Ivan mused. “I’m sure you can go the rest of the way. Wasn’t that your original plan?”

“What? This?” the man scoffed. “I was just…getting up to the roof is all.”

Ivan hummed. “And why the roof of my house?”

“What?” the man asked in fake shock. “I thought…damn, I could’ve sworn this was my house. My bad. Just…uh…help me up and I’ll be on my way.”

“My sister is friends with all of our neighbors,” Ivan said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.”

“I guess,” the man huffed, his knees roughly hitting the wall as he slipped again. He was panting heavily now, his fingers trembling terribly. “Uh…I guess that explains why none of these houses look familiar, huh?”

“Are you just stupid?” Ivan asked bluntly. “Or, are you just trying to get out of me calling the police?”

“That depends,” the man grunted. His hands were too weak at his rate to actually get him enough leverage up onto the window. Ivan almost felt bad for him, “do you want me to fall and…break my legs and maybe even my fingers…or, are you going to let me in and go on my way?”

“How can I trust you?” Ivan asked amusedly.

“I’m not really a fan of stealing things while people can watch me,” the man admitted.

“Oh, so you are a thief,” Ivan said.

The man looked up at him with an almost pleading expression. Even in the moonlight, his exertion could easily be seen by the sweat covering his forehead.

“Please, dude, come on,” the man begged.

“You don’t even have a bag on you,” Ivan said. “What did you expect to steal?”

“I don’t know?” the man huffed. His hands were started to slip slowly. “Maybe as much cash that I could find that could fit in my pocket? You’re in a rich neighborhood, too. You guys have plenty of jewelry just lying around.”

“You watch way too many movies,” Ivan said bluntly.

“For the love of-” the man glared up at him. “I didn’t come here to chit chat with you, Jesus. Just help me up and I swear I’ll just leave and you won’t have to worry about me ever again.”

“You give a convincing argument,” Ivan said, though not really. Most of his reason for letting this man up was because he just didn’t want to see anyone break their legs today. He didn’t look forward to that call to the police, anyway.

He gripped onto the man’s wrists and the burglar sighed with relief, using his feet to finally get some good leverage as Ivan pulled him in. The man gave himself a little too much of a boost, though, and it resulted in Ivan falling backwards, the thief falling right on top of him.

“Good to see ya this close,” the man said with a small smile, though it was obvious he was still exhausted.

“Are you just a bad thief?” Ivan asked. “You should know your own skill level before trying to climb a window on the second floor.”

“Well, I’m sorry I was just trying to make ends meet!” the man protested, sitting up and crossing his arms over his chest.

“How about you get a job?” Ivan asked bluntly. “You seem able, after all you can climb two stories on your own.” Ivan sat up as well. The man wasn’t about to start moving anywhere, so Ivan was fine with just talking.

“I assume since you’re giving me some life coaching you’re not gonna call the police?” the man asked.

“You didn’t even cover your face,” Ivan continued, disregarding that last question. Answering it truthfully might make the thief do something reckless. “You must have been cocky to assume no one would see you or even catch you on camera.”

“Wait, you guys have security cams?” the man asked with wide eyes.

Ivan couldn’t help but laugh. This man seemed far too innocent to be someone that stole for a living. The man soon pouted and then glared at him.

“I-I’m sorry,” Ivan stuttered.

“What so fucking funny?” the man snapped.

“You can go.” Ivan chuckled. “I’m not going to call anyone. But I will see you to the door.”

“Oh, uh, thanks.” The man blinked in surprise, slowly getting up. “You serious?”

“Just don’t try to rob anyone else,” Ivan said with a smirk. “At least not until your fingers are back up to strength.”

The man gave him a half-hearted glare, but walked beside Ivan as the two made their way downstairs and to the front door. Ivan opened the door for the man, but the man seemed to hesitate.

“Thanks for not calling the police,” the man muttered, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

“I can still change my mind if you stay for too long,” Ivan said.

“Okay, okay, jeez,” the man grumbled, walking outside. “But don’t think this means I won’t try again in the future.”

“Oh, I look forward to it,” Ivan said, closing the door.

Since that day, no matter the weather, Ivan always kept his bedroom window open. And, since that day, Ivan got frequent visits from an amateur thief.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a collection of drabbles based on what I've seen off of those "imagine your OTP" prompts on Tumblr. Ratings will vary, but some will go up to rated M, though nothing beyond that. Mostly, there won't be a lot of dark themes, but I'll make sure to put up warnings when anything gets too intense.  
> Anyway, that's it! Read and enjoy!


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